Jennifer Dharmasurya (jynxgirl) wrote in belles_place,
Jennifer Dharmasurya

*Danger Room Post*

This might not be something done here before, but this is what I need right now.

Jen slams into the Place and is obviously upset. She goes into the Danger Room and very quickly, muffled screams fill the air! Sobs and breaking glass soon follow.
After a long few minutes, a very ruffled Jen trudges out and sits down.

"I need a really strong, really bitter drink. I don't care what it is at this point."

After slamming back her drink she begins to sob again.

"We found out last week that I am five weeks pregnant. I was ecstatic, if a little scared. The morning sickness, sore breasts and exhaustion had really given me away. Then today the extreme nausea set in. I went to the walk in to see what could be done. I was sent for a quick ultrasound to check on the baby."

Jen catches her breath.

"There is no baby. There is endometrial lining in my fallopian tube tricking my body into THINKING it's pregnant! THINKING!!!! There's no baby."

Jen begins to sob again.

"With this ultrasound I've finalized my inability to not only have no more babies but also to never have another period. My uterus is now as useless as it was the day I was born. I am NOT coping well with this. Knowing that four or five of my really close friends are all pregnant right now does NOT help. Nor does being told that I could always adopt.

Jen cries for a few minutes, letting the grief wash over her.

"You'd think that at 23 my body would get the message that it's supposed to release and egg, shed that damn lining then move on!!! But nope. It's doing the complete fucking opposite.

"So ignore me for a while so I can just drown my sorrows, because I do not know what else I can say.

"I'm sorry."
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.

Rough news. You have every right to be angry at the universe. The only other thing I will say is try not to be angry at yourself.
as to appropriateness- if not here, then where??

::all kindsa hugs::

hoping your sadness is diminished asap.. pop back as you need to... we'll be here. ;-)
I'm really sorry.
Hugs and a shoulder offered. There are children who need a mother as much as you need children. Giving birth is NOT what makes a "Mommy", being there and loving do that.
...that engender life and there are Powers that nurture life. They are not necessarily found in the same 'vessel. Or so I have observed.
I am sorry for your pain; it will take time for you to come to terms with your disappointment, I know. But I am in agreement with pagawne: It is the Power to nurture that is the more difficult for humans IMO, and what truly makes a 'Mommy'.
Forgive me if I have said anything you do not want to hear just now, but please believe that all is not lost.

Margo, I think I _needed_ to hear this. Giving birth does not a mommy make.
I've been thinking of adoption. And perhaps this is the Goddess' way of just saying "Hey! For the last time! This isn't a good point in your life for more babies!!!"
There are treatments that are painful and potentially dangerous, and right now I'm not comfortable attempting them.
But I will continue to consider adoption and see how that goes in a few years. In the mean time, I have a beautiful (just about) 2 year old to enjoy chasing around. :)

Thank you. Everyone.
I think perhaps, at 23 years of age, you do not need to undertake painful and dangerous proceedures, just yet. After all, you have a 2 yr old who needs her Mommy.
The various fertility treatments can only improve in the next few years, and you do have time on your side, as well as other options.

Be well, be comforted and happy in the blessings you have for now.

Encouraging hugs,